15

Today was the first day of increasing my dosage to 15mg. I think I was so happy for so long that I forgot how awful it is to feel so low. When my pills stopped having the same benefits as they did before I just fet discouraged, but I am staying hopeful and now I am motivated to get better, since I could feel myself getting sick again. I hope 15 brings me luck.

Bad again

I'm scared because its getting bad again. I know its getting bad because I have been consciously thinking about it and noticing it getting bad again. When everything good there is no think about these things. I think I need a higher dose of medication, but what happens when I am at the highest dose and it gets bad again? What happens in 10 years, or 20 years, or when I'm fucking 80 years old and its still bad.